Poor Unfortunate Souls
by timelord-at-221B-fleetstreet
Summary: Kairi wants be united with the human prince Sora, but she's a mermaid. To solve her problem, she goes to the famous sea witch, Larxene.


Kairi didn't know why she was doing this. She knew perfectly well that Larxene was the most evil creature to ever swim these waters.

But she still followed the two Nobodies in front of her that promised to guide her to Larxene.

The only thing that kept her from turning around was Sora. The human prince.

She had fallen in love with him earlier that week, but since she was a mermaid, she couldn't be with him. So now she was turning to Larxene to transform her.

At least, that's what the two Nobodies in front of her had said.

"This way," the two chorused and made a gesture for her to go into the cave in front of her. She honestly almost turned back right there.

The cave was infested with these odd weeds that were-alive? Yes, they were definitely alive. They moved and thrashed on the floor and tried to grab her.

One efficiently found purchase on her left wrist, and she yelped and tried to break free.

"Help!" Kairi yelled at the two, but they continued on without her. 'No, I won't lose him,' Kairi thought to herself and broke free.

She swam quickly after the two and eventually caught up, and they gestured her forward again and Kairi gulped before going into the cave before her.

"Come in! Come in my child!" Kairi heard a sinister voice call from within the chamber, "We mustn't lurk on doorways! It's rude,"

That's when Kairi saw Larxene. She was a mermaid, although there was many rumors saying she was a squid. Where did that come from?

Larxene was actually very beautiful. She had blonde hair that was constantly moving and blue-green eyes that stood out in the plain surroundings.

She was pretty much perfect, which made her all the more dangerous.

Kairi obeyed Larxene and swam into the chamber nervously, "I question your upbringing!" she giggled, "Now, you're here because you have a thing for a human! This prince fellow!"

Kairi nodded subtly, "Not that I blame you, he is quite the catch, isn't he?" Larxene must like the sound of her voice, "Well angelfish the solution to your problem is simple! The only way to get what you want is to become a human yourself!"

Kairi gasped and her eyes widened, "Can you do that?" she said quietly.

Larxene picked at her nail and smiled mischievously, "My dear sweet child that's what I do!" she turned and faced Kairi, "It's what I live for!" she swam towards her and Kairi shrank back.

Larxene frowned a bit before going on, "To help poor merfolk. Like yourself!" she sang, "Poor souls with no one else to turn to!" she said in a baby voice.

Kairi tried to smile, but ended up grimacing, "I admit in the past I've been a nasty!" Larxene sang as her two Nobodies swam around her, "They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch!" that made the two giggle.

"But you'll find now a days, I've mended all my ways. Repented, seen the light made a switch to this!" Larxene sneaked up to Kairi, but she jumped back again.

Larxene backed off and made her way to a odd shell, "And I fortunately know a little magic!" she flicked her hands around and the shell opened and smoke floated out, making Kairi gasp.

"It's a talent I always have possessed! And my dear lady please don't laugh!" she shook her finger and smiled, "I use it on behalf," she moved her hand upward and two merpeople flicked up.

One was a chubby woman and the other was a scrawny man, "On the miserable, lonely, and depressed!" she leaned to her cohorts and mumbled, "Pathetic,"

They laughed and she went on with her melody, "Poor unfortunate souls! In pain! In need! This one longing to be thinner and that one wants to get the girl," Larxene gestured to the two merpeople she created, "And I help them?" then they both turned into super model material.

"Yes indeed," she winked, "Those poor unfortunate souls! So sad, so true. They come flocking to my cauldron calling 'Spells Larxene please!' and I help them? Yes I do!"

Larxene's face grew serious, "Now it's happened once or twice. Someone couldn't pay the price, and I'm afraid I had to take them across the coals!" she ficked her hand again and they shrunk down to the weeds Kairi had seen on her way in.

She must have gotten lots of failures.

"Yes I've had the odd complaint," Larxene grabbed a pink vine that hung around and put it on her head and grabbed it at her neck, "But on the whole I've been a saint to those poor unfortunate souls!" she shimmied and threw the vine around Kairi's waist and pulled her to Larxene.

"Now, here's the deal. I'll make you a potion that will turn you into a human for three days. Got that? Three days," Larxene guided Kairi to her cauldron, "Now listen this is important!"

Out of her cauldron, yellow balls appeared, "Before the sun sets on the third day," she said as the yellow balls set, "You've got to get dear old Princie to fall in love with you!"

Then a heart with a crown wrapped around it appeared, "That means he's got to kiss you!" Kairi's eyes lite up, "Not just any kiss," Larxene shook her head.

The heart maximized, "The kiss of true love! If he does kiss you before the sun sets on the third day you will remain a human permeananetly! Kairi smiled happily.

"But if he doesn't kiss you, you'll turn back into a mermaid," Larxene said on a sad note, "And belong to me!"

"No Kairi!" Kairi heard her best friend Riku yell, but the Nobodies blocked his mouth.

"Have we got a deal?" Larxene grabbed Kairi's chin.

"If I become human, I'll never see my father or sisters again," Kairi realized, and released her chin from Larxene's grasp.

"But, you'll have your man!" Larxene said, "Life is full of tough choices, isn't it?"

Larxene giggled, "Oh! We haven't discussed the subject of payment!"

"But I don't have-" Kairi started, but Larxene out a single finger on her lips.

"I'm not asking for much, just a token really, a trifle!" Larxene said playfully, "What I want from you is your voice,"

"But without my voice, how can I?" Kairi was once again interrupted by Larxene.

"You'll had your looks!" Larxene gestures to her and grabbed her chin, "Your pretty face!" she backed up again, "And don't underestimate the importance of body language, ha!" Larxene shook her hips and shook herself.

"The men up there don't like a lot of blabber!" Larxene went to a cabinet, "They think a girl who gossips is a bore! Yet on land it is much preferred for ladies not to say a word! And after all dear, what is idle babble for? Come on they're not impressed with conversation!"

Larxene began to throw ingredients into her cauldron, "True gentlemen avoid it when they can! But they dote and they fawn over a lady who is withdrawn! It is she who holds her tongue that gets her man!"

Kairi was frightened, and she wished that her father would just do this one thing for her.

"Come on you poor unfortunate soul! Go ahead! Make your choice! I'm a very busy lady and I haven't got all day! It won't cost much, just your voice! You poor unfortunate soul! It's sad, but true!" as Larxene sang as smoke erupted from her cauldron.

"If you want to cross the bridge my sweet, you got to pay the toll! Take a gulp and take a breath go ahead and sign the scroll!" as she spoke a contract appeared in from of Kairi with the entire deal printed into it.

"Axel, Marluxia I got her boys!" Larxene muttered to her Nobodies, "The boss is on a roll!" Larxene spun around in the air quickly.

"This poor," Kairi knew that when she finished, her time would be up, "Un," Kairi looked at Riku, "Fortuante," Kairi grabbed the pen and signed during the last word, "Soul!"

Larxene grabbed the contract and had a disturbing expression printed on her face, "Beluga sevruga come winds of the Caspian sea!" as she chanted, the water started to get rougher.

"Larengix glaucitis et max laryngitis la voce to me!" as she rose her arms on the last word, hands appeared in the air and creeped towards Kairi.

"Now, sing!" Larxene grabbed yet necklace and held it forward.

"Ahhhh, ahhhh," Kairi sang.

"Keep singing!" Larxene thrust her hands forward and the gigantic hands went towards her and grabbed her voice.

Kairi grabbed her now empty throat and watched as her voice floated into Larxene's necklace.

She cackled insanely as Kairi's find split in two and formed into legs.

As soon as Kairi left, Larxene sighed, "She has absolutely no idea what she has done."

Axel and Marluxia laughed in unison with Larxene. 


End file.
